Worth It
by Meesh
Summary: (Set after S04E09, The Trial of Leslie Knope. Short one shot.) Ben reflects on the decisions he's made over the past several weeks and where they've led him.


He quietly watched with a smile as his fingers gently glided along the bare skin of her shoulder. This was not where he expected to be a few weeks ago, but Ben could hardly complain. This felt good. This felt…right. It was the best outcome either of them could have possibly hoped for. How often did that happen? He leaned to kiss the patch of skin behind her ear and then nestled his nose in her hair, breathing deeply.

She always smelled like earth. Old trees. Books, really. Most found her passion and intensity annoying, and to be honest, so did he at times, but in general he absolutely loved it about her. She would spend an entire day sifting through and cataloguing old almanacs if it meant one part of a presentation was completely accurate. She cared more than anyone he had ever met before, and he still couldn't believe that she cared for _him_ that much.

Leslie was willing to give up everything to be with him. Her perfect record, her career, potentially even her campaign. The things she had worked toward throughout her entire life, since she was a little girl, just…gone in an instant. To be with him. To love him. She didn't even sound hesitant when she suggested it.

 _"There is another option. We could just say screw it and do this thing for real."_

That was what surprised him the most. Her career was everything to her for years and rightfully so. She had earned every single thing she'd ever been given, and he couldn't bear the thought of ruining that for her. Tainting the public perception. _I think it's for the best,_ he told her. And he meant it. But when she continued to shove aside all his concerns, he was at a loss.

 _"No, we would have to tell Chris–"_

 _"–Yeah."_

 _"…It could turn into a scandal, it–"_

 _"–Yeah."_

 _"…could hurt your campaign."_

 _"Yes."_

Every single time they had discussed it in the past, as soon as either of them mentioned the campaign, the other immediately agreed that they couldn't compromise that. It was killing them both, but they had an understanding. Suddenly, weeks after breaking up, Leslie stood before him with snow in her hair and tears in her eyes and asked him to do what they both had agreed couldn't be done.

To put their relationship first.

 _"I know how I feel, and I want to be with you. But I'm done steamrolling people; this is how I feel. How do you feel?"_

He already knew he loved her. He had for months. But for the first time that night, he understood just how much he loved her. If he lost his job at that very moment in time, Ben couldn't have cared less. Chris could have been standing directly in front of them, and he would have stepped over to Leslie just as quickly and kissed her with all the meaning he could possibly force himself to convey.

She was worth it.

It's why he was so calm when he went to go see her before her trial. He had already decided what he was going to do. When Chris said that they would both need to be investigated by a committee, Ben made up his mind. There was a way that they could be together but also not completely destroy Leslie's campaign: if he were no longer a conflict of interest.

He expected to feel more nervous than he did, truth be told. As soon as the committee adjourned to deliberate, he had knocked on their door and let himself in. His hands weren't even shaking as he stood in front of his boss and long-time friend and requested a brief audience; that's how he knew it was the right decision. He would be hurting Chris and he wasn't happy about that at all, but Leslie was simply the most important person in his life.

She was worth it.

His record was already relatively shot, what with being the worst mayor in history. He had skills that were easily applicable outside of the public sector. She was poised to make a strong run for the city council. She had worked for years to make it to this point. He wanted to support her in every single way possible, and what better way than to make sure she was protected from the fallout?

Having another mark on his record would be far less painful than having to say goodbye to Leslie for good and leaving Pawnee. It wasn't a huge, nice town like Indianapolis or Minneapolis, but he had come to appreciate its charm and passion. He had made friends here and most obviously, the woman in his arms was here.

He quietly smiled again and gently pulled her closer. Where their future was going to go had yet to be seen, but Ben knew one thing for certain: Leslie was worth it.


End file.
